Wouldn't it be nice to know how your life stacks up against everyone else's?

Wouldn't it be cool to have a trusted expert RATE YOUR LIFE?

Wouldn't it be sweet to get your rating 48 hours before your life is about to end?

Here is how we do it:

Free Will is an illusion perpetuated by ignorance of factors impossible to understand. All movements of the cosmos are deterministic and nothing is actually random, therefore your entire life has already happened, you just haven't noticed it yet.

By examining every thought and action you have taken, we can then extrapolate every thought and action you will take. We then arrive at a LifeWorth and compare it to everyone else. LifeWorth includes a simple 0-100 rating and also highlights from each year of your life, just so you can see it all in one place. Neat, huh?

Why we deliver your LifeWorth 48 hours before you die:

Early experiments in delivering ratings and entire-life highlights instantly upon sign-up and successful payment had highly undesirable effects upon 100% of test subjects. Furthermore, delivering results moments before death seemed pointless and cruel.

48 hours is enough time to really take action if you aren't satisfied with your assessment. We already know what those actions will be, but we keep that a secret from you for your own benefit and excitement.

Sounds great! How do I sign up?

You already have, you just don't know it yet. You will receive notification when the time is right.